I’m a Hater
I’m on the Microsoft payroll and am just pulling a Dvorak and trolling for page hits. I’m Dan Lyons. I’m Fake Dan Lyons, I’m Fake Fake Dan Lyons. I’m a Microsoft PR Move to deflect from [insert bad news here].
I’m a Fanboi Apologist
I worship at the altar of Steve Jobs. I drank the Kool-Aid and only pretend to grumble so I can make excuses. I have Apple stickers on my car, my bicycle, my skateboard, and my dorm-room door. I like to think I’m a rebel and I’m Different, therefore better and cooler than you.
Who am I really?
I’m a nobody. I’m your brother. I’m Steve Jobs. I’m Fake Steve Jobs Twice Removed. I’m a fourteen year old who just got his own room and a new Mac. I’m the original 40-Year-Old Virgin. I’m the guy who wrote a MASH note to a pie.
OK, it’s not funny anymore.
Well, it was for me. Spoil sport. The truth? I’m no one you’ve heard of. I write things that you don’t care about and definitely don’t agree with. You shouldn’t read this blog at all, nor my other three. Go away. You’ll thank me.
It wasn’t all lies. I wrote the pie thing.
*sigh* Please, can you be serious for one minute?
I doubt it. Google “Neurotic Nomad”, “NeuroticNomad”, and “firstname.lastname@example.org” and see what i mean.
Oh, and call me Nomad. Only my shrink calls me neurotic.
Who are you talking to?
Isn’t that.. me? I mean… you’re me, right? There’s no interviewer giving voice over. I mean, I’m not doing voices out loud or anything.
You want to do it out loud into the empty room, now. Don’t you?
*sigh* Oh, all right.